Apparently my blog entries are pretty much averaging out to once a week.

Today, however, unlike past days, I am not procrastinating my homework. I mean, sure, there is ALWAYS homework I can do. So if you look at it in that regard, sure, I'm putting it off. But there's nothing due soon, cuz everything was due yesterday, so I am up early and just chillin' out. That's a weird feeling, let me tell ya. I am even thinking about watching a movie before I have to leave for class! Yes indeed.

Well, anyways, did I mention I went and got myself a job? Mhm! At Slice Athletic Wear. I've only worked a couple hours so far, but those few hours seemed pretty decent! It's funny... When I was younger... there were 4 things - actually 5, that I wanted to be when I grew up.

The first, was a real one. I wanetd to be a writer. Absolutely without any doubt. That was my real goal for life.

The other four were things I wanted to do in the mean time, while I was still on my way to becoming a writer.

1) Be a maid in a hotel.... for some reason I thought this was quite possibly the most romantic thing in the world. Slaving away... the unnoticed young girl who keeps your room clean.. somehow I just thought it so cool.

2) Be a secretary.... Answer phones, type on a computer, and dress up every day! Of course that appeals to a young girl. Or, me anyways.

3)Be a lifeguard - or more specifically, teach swimming lessons. My swimming teachers were my hero's growing up and I most certainly felt that teaching swimming lessons would be one of the coolest things ever.

4) Work somewhere where I would get to slide the barcode of an item under that red beam and hear that satisfying beep. Who knows. I think maybe it just has to do with the fact that everywhere you go, you see that red line and you hear the computer beep. So familiar, but to me, so foreign.

Well, I am proud to say, I have two of those checked off my life's list. Lifeguard? You bet. Cashier-type person? I am now! Not bad, I'd say. And I'm well on my way to becoming a writer with my Journalism degree. So hey, how many peope can say they've fulfilled that many of their dreams?

Athough, I've kind of changed my mind since my younger days about being a maid. It does not hold any appeal anymore, whatsoever. But hey, I'm allowed at least one flunked dream right?  And you never know, maybe I'll end up being a secretary yet. ha.

danielle

Hey there.

Well, it is Saturday morning. I had intended, last night, to make all I could of today and wake up at a decent hour and get cracking on my homework.

Well, it's 11 oclock. Not quite what I had in mind...

Also, I had a very odd dream last night. I dreamt I had a pet cougar that was tame, and we played with it my back yard. Very scary as well. I also dreamt that my friend, Alayne, and my boyfriend, Austin, were going with my geology professor, in a helicopter, to some sort of geologic excavation in Alaska for 3 days.  (Also, my geology professor is tall and very thin. In my dream, he was extremely short and wide.) Then it turned out that the helicopter was broken, so we had to take a hot air balloon. While we were at it, we decided to also round up 20 cougars that had been pestering the regina area lately. We pt them in nets and dangled them from the side of the balloon and somehow, it wasn't too heavy and off we went to Alaska.

Well, my dreams are always the most skewed when I'm stressed. Perhaps I should try to alleviate some of that stress by getting some homework done...

ds

Ah. Yes, now I remember why my blog is so vibrant during the school year. Not because I have anything that much more exciting to say than in the summer, but because during the summer months, I have nothing to procrastinate on. I have no choice but to go to work. I can't procrastinate on that. However during the school year.. there is a lot of school very easy to procrastinate doing. And that, my dear friends, is why I blog. Apparently. Well, for the most part probably, anyways.

And now.. Geology is screaming my name.

Farewell.

ds

My dad says, "Welcome to life" and "Get used to it." That these are the kinds of people I will be working with for the rest of my life. That there will always be those people that completely rub you the wrong way.

Frankly, I think... that just sucks.

But sure makes me thankful for the rest of everyone.

danielle

What a messed up word we live in.

ds

Yesterday I had my last piano lesson. It was pretty sad. I've gone to the same piano teacher for my entire piano career - 11 years of seeing her every week during the school year. And now it's over. I completed grade 8 and got a  year into grade 9. So close to being done, I hope someday I can go back and finish off 10. But for now.. it's just too much on top of school and whatnot. So...that constant in my life is over. Even though at sometimes I wouldn't enjoy piano, it was something I knew would happen every week. You know? Just one of those things I could count on. And she was the most amazing teacher ever. So.. yeah. it's sad. High school is gone. Piano lessons are gone. Free summers without work are gone. Lots of things now... gone. Done. Closed. The last while I know I've spent too much time brooding over the fact that I'm getting older. Honestly... I would go back to being 9 right now... no pressure. THat  was the summer I went to Europe with my family. Amazing. I miss huge family trips. But I'm growing up. and things like that become less, because my brothers are growing up as well.  It's just... sad. I don't want to be 18. I don't want to be figuring out life for the rest of my life right now. I'm 18! That is so old. And I never want to get old. Cuz as I get older, the people around me age. My parents will die. My relatives. Friends will pass away. We'll all get terrible health problems and live on drugs and antibodies and laying in bed wrinkled and dying. I don't want to get old. I don't want to die. But every day takes me closer to that.. And I don't want THAT chapter of my life, my BOOK of life to close. Cuz I keep turning the pages of my life as every day passes. And I keep getting through entire chapters it seems. And a book can only have so many chapters...

Well, that's a rather depressing entry. Oh well. I'm off to work to guard hundreds of screaming kids with no regard to the fact that before long they'l be old and wondering why they didnt do something in life. That's the thing. I've gone through 18 years of life. And I haven't accomplished a THING. And THAT is super frustrating to realize.

I'm out.

danielle

I've been harbouring some bitterness in my heart against some people for awhile now. And I really, really, really want to get rid of it. I try and try, and I might even get to the point where I think I have a good grasp on it. Then the next time I see them or anything, the bitterness rears its head again. And I have to start the process all over.  It's stressful having this kind of bitterness eat away at you for so long. I'm tired of trying to get rid of it. I'm tired of it always coming back.

I know its futile to try and conquer it on my own. It's impossible. I'm only human and I'm going to fail over and over and over again. And so I turn to God. I know that with God, anything is possible. But I just start along with God and things go well. And then I rush ahead of Him and figure I've got this down now, no problem. But the bitterness always comes back. I have to be reminded. God's got his perfect plan. For everything in life. I can't keep rushing ahead of him without regard to His plan. Cuz that's an ultimate lack of trust. I need to trust Him with everything in life. I need to trust that with Him I can get rid of this bitterness. I can daily say, I forgive you.  It sounds so simple in writing. But in doing, it gets so hard. I always get my own ideas of shortcuts. But you can't make shortcuts with God. You'll miss out on something wonderful He's planned. And you might end up getting lost, and endiing up back where you started.

danielle

Oh oh oh! I have completely 4 out of 5 finals. I'm so excited to be done! And then I have a week off to do basically whatever I so desire before work starts! Mm-mm good. So now I spend the day studying psychology and I will be good to go.

And it's gorgeous weather out, so I love that. However there's one of those annoying little bugs (you know, the ones that that just zip in little circles in ziggaging jerky motions around your nose and you don't barely dare to breathe cuz you know you'll suck it in) spazzing out in my personal bubble and I am not a fan.

Back to the books for the last time this year :) I'm out!

danielle

Just so you all know, I have the greatest boyfriend. He's just so incredibly sweet. This morning, he woke up at 7:30 to come to the university and brought me chocolate milk! Cuz last night I said I was craving chocolate milk. So he brought me a little jug of chocolate milk before my final. He's just sweet like that. He picks up on the little things and thinks of the most sweetest things to do. He's the bestest.

And don't you love when you click with people you know? I do! When yo don't know them.. and you meet them.. and you're just instant friends? I love it!

Oh, and I also am loving the most amazingly gorgeous weather! Mm-mm. I tell you, it is absolutely delicious.

Mm so I had my German final this morning. So stressful. And didn't do near as good as I should have! Ah! Yeah, wasn't very fun. So now.. tomorrow's English, Wednesday is Sociology, and Thursday is Psychology. almost done almost done....oh good grief. It never ends. and then I have a week off .. and then its going to be work. and then.. school again! wow.

I need to go study. 5 minutes to blog is 5 minutes I should have used elsewhere! Sigh.

love
ds

MM. I had my math final today. My first final, and it went decently I think. I think I passed. Or maybe I am just desperately hoping I passed and am morphing that into believing I did. Who knows. Oh well, I'll find out before too long. So, four to go!

So, off I am to study.

Again.

Sometimes I think it actually won't end. mmm.

danielle